Ladies, you need to understand that a potential spouse who asks you to abandon hijab is not going to make a good Muslim husband or father.
In the past week alone, I have heard of three separate cases in which a practicing Muslim woman, who observes hijab, has been told by a potential suitor that he’d like her to stop covering her hair for him to consider marrying her.
Subhan Allah!
What on earth has happened to these men? How did they end up falling so low?
Common Underlying Issues
There are three problems that are often underlying issues with when it comes to such a man:
1. He is weak in his din, i.e., he is not an observant, practicing Muslim. Either he doesn’t know that hijab is wajib (obligatory); or he does know but he doesn’t care. He does not have the will or strength to obey Allah or respect the limits of Allah.
2. He is irresolute and weak-willed, lacking resolve and unable to withstand social pressure. He wants his wife to abandon hijab, despite it being wajib, due to having a severe fear of facing criticism from non-Muslims or ignorant Muslims that express an open aversion to religiosity. When faced with the possibility of backlash, he simply doesn’t have the determination, firmness or integrity to stand up for what’s right. He is nothing but a soft, limp male who is governed by fear.
3. He lacks ghayrah, both for his religion and his womenfolk.
A real Muslim man, one whose who has a sound fitrah (innate natural disposition) and adequate masculinity, will instinctively wish for his wife to be shielded from the gazes of strangers. He would passionately want his wife to be shielded from the eyes and glances of other men. Such a man would naturally possess ghayrah, i.e., protective jealousy and honor towards one’s religion and family.
A true man would strive to shelter and safeguard his cherished wife!
A true man would never endeavor to expose his wife!
Ultimately, a male devoid of ghayrah is a dayyuth, and, I assure you, you most certainly do not want such an individual as a husband. Such a person is lacking an absolutely essential trait. They’re not a real man. Our beloved Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) has said that a dayyuth will be barred from entering Jannah.
Ladies, be sure to watch out for this major red flag when seeking a husband.
May Allah make us all upright and righteous Muslims; may He grant all Muslims upright and righteous spouses and children; and may He bless us with the most beautiful and excellent marriages. Amin!
Umm Khalid (MuslimSkeptic.com)