She sat at the corner of her sofa gazing out her window towards the night sky. She tilted her head slowly to the right sighing. Her thoughts were deep and her eyes tired.
“How many missed prayers am I still trying to make up for?
How many fasts have I intentionally broken?
How many arguments have I had with my parents? How many times have I lied?
How many times have I backbitten?
How many times have I cursed?
How many times have I sinned?”
Hopeless, she felt.
Many, if not all of us have experienced this moment; the overwhelming feeling that our sins are just too much, being physically and mentally exhausted and beginning to believe that not even a drop of Allah’s mercy is going to reach us. We fall into a pit of sorrow and our Iman begins to plummet, losing any sight of eventually entering Jannah through Allah’s Mercy.
This is a major barrier that’s blocking many Muslims from getting closer to Allah and improving their relationship with Him. This barrier is losing hope in the mercy of Allah Ta’ala. Sometimes people think that Allah will never forgive them because of the multitude of their sins. As a result, they slacken in performing their acts of worship and some even abandon them as they lose hope in attaining the mercy of Allah. However, Allah, The Exalted has said:
“ Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful .’” (Surah Az-Zumar, Ayah 53)”
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “ Allah the Almighty said: ,“O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask from Me, I shall pardon you for what you have done, and I wouldn’t care. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness almost as great as it.’” (Tirmidhi)”
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,
“ By Him in whose hand is my soul, if you did not sin Allah would replace you with people who would sin and they would seek the forgiveness of Allah and He would forgive them.” [Sahih Muslim]
“ Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” [at-Tirmidhi]
Allah created us all as sinners. However, the BEST of sinners are those of us who turn back to Allah each time and repent; those of us who never lose hope in His Mercy, and firmly believe that He can and will forgive us.
(Note: this does not mean we should sin on purpose, of course!)
We need to constantly ask Allah Ta’ala for forgiveness and try and mend our ways. We should never become overconfident that Allah Ta’ala will forgive us without asking him and without trying to stop sinning.
We should also fix what wrong we have done to others, if we stole money we should return it, if we harmed anyone in any way we should ask them for forgiveness.
The man that killed 99 people
Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said:
“ *There was a man from among a nation before you who killed ninety-nine people and then made an inquiry about the most learned person on the earth. He was directed to a monk. He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the negative and the man killed him also completing one hundred.
He then asked about the most learned man in the earth. He was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the affirmative and asked, `Who stands between you and repentance? Go to such and such land; there (you will find) people devoted to prayer and worship of Allah, join them in worship, and do not come back to your land because it is an evil place.’
So he went away and hardly had he covered half the distance when death overtook him; and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of torment. The angels of mercy pleaded, ‘This man has come with a repenting heart to Allah,’ and the angels of punishment argued, ‘He never did a virtuous deed in his life.’ Then there appeared another angel in the form of a human being and the contending angels agreed to make him arbiter between them. He said, `Measure the distance between the two lands. He will be considered belonging to the land to which he is nearer.’ They measured and found him closer to the land (land of piety) where he intended to go, and so the angels of mercy collected his soul”. [Al Bukhari and Muslim]