AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE: THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND SHUKR

She opens her wardrobe. Two dozen dresses— red, yellow, orange, pink, and you-name-it— are hanging there. After a cursory glance, she bangs the door shut.

“Mom, I have nothing to wear for the party,” she whines. “I’ve been begging you to take me shopping for ages— you never listen to me! What do I do now?”

He’s rummaging in the fridge for the fourth time. Pizza, chocolate, ice-cream, fruits, and juices are stuffed inside. He closes the door despondently and leaves the kitchen, saying, “There’s nothing much to eat in here. Let’s go to the café and get some decent food.”

She wakes up with the same feelings of depression and dread that she’s been experiencing every morning. Thoughts of suicide are again floating in her mind. She’s married to a handsome man and has two lovely kids, a home, and a car— everything most women would ask for. Apparently, life is perfect, but something is missing; she’s just not married to the man of her dreams.

UNFOLDING A ROSE

A young, new Ustaadh (teacher) was walking with an older, more seasoned Ustaadh in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what Allaah had for him to do, he was asking the older Ustaadh for some advice. The older Ustaadh walked up to a rosebush and handed the young Ustaadh a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals. The young Ustaadh looked in disbelief at the older Ustaadh and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of Allaah for his life and ministry.

But because of his great respect for the older Ustaadh, he proceeded to try to unfold the rose, while keeping every petal intact… It wasn’t long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the younger Ustaadh’s inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older Ustaadh began to recite the following poem…

I HOPE YOU CAN SEE WHAT I’M SAYING

Too often we have a negative perception towards people who have some sort of mental or physical disability. We feel sorry for them. It goes to the extent that you may even think that they are not worth giving dawah to, not worth that invitation to Islam. May Allah forgive us all for that. Have we ever considered… maybe its a blessing?

Read what Abu Hafsah Abdul Malik Clare who was born without sight and embraced Islam in 1996 had to say:

I get asked this question in almost every city of every country I’ve ever been in. “What’s it like to be blind?” I never get offended by this question, I think that if I were sighted I would probably ask the same question. My reply is: “I’m not blind, I just can’t see.” This answer gets a laugh from the crowd and a smile from myself but I’ve never actually liked that answer, it always sounded like a copout to me.

STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE: HOW COOL IS THAT?

Not just public personalities, even ordinary people are within the purview of image experts. Jo Anna Nicholson, author of five self-help books, including Dressing Smart for Men and Dressing Smart for Women has made a fortune out of telling others how to dress and act so that they make an “instant impression” on prospective employers and spouses. Her books include chapters on “Looking As If You Don’t Have a Clue”, “How to Look Accidentally Good” and “Looking Promotable.”

Popular magazines and websites abound with pseudo-psychoanalytical articles on what one’s clothes, hair, jewellery or accessories are saying about a person, and how people can carefully tailor their appearance to create maximum impact.

HARBOURING ENVY?

In an age where people’s lives are so transparent for many to view via social networking sites, often “stalking” can lead to envy as we compare our lives to the lives of others. So as we gaze at the photographs of our friends’ weddings, holidays, newborns, spouses or homes, envy maybe nurtured within us. If we hear news of someone doing well in their exams, or gaining a job promotion, envy may grow within us. Envy may perhaps initially be indiscernible within our hearts. But on closer inspection we realise we wish we had what they enjoy and we would feel pleasure at the thought of them losing that blessing. And because these are just feelings which we harbor, and not actions which we commit, we consider envy to be harmless and benign. Yet envy is the root to so many other evils. It is the root to backbiting, scorning, hurting others feelings and possibly even breaking friendships and relationships.

Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said: “Indeed envy eats up good deeds just as fire consumes wood.” [Ahmad]

7 CAUSES OF ENVY (HASAD)

Hasad is a desire that a blessing or a cause of happiness departs from its possessor and becomes transferred to oneself. Hasad is cancerous in its effect and leads to hatred, animosity, ill-feelings and often further disobedience towards Allah Ta’ala. It is condemned in many ahaadeeth. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihe wassallam) said,

‘Envy eats away good deeds like fire eats away wood.’ (Abu Daud and al-Tirmidhi).

Some of the causes of hasad are as follows:

1.Enmity and hatred: This is the one of the severest cases of envy because when a person has hatred and enmity in his heart for someone animosity begins to settle in his heart. This animosity needs to be treated and causes the person to desire revenge. If he is unable to get some sort of revenge, this animosity turns into envy: the person yearns for his enemy to lose any blessings that he has.

6 PRACTICAL STEPS TOWARD SINCERE REPENTANCE

Most people are aware of the conditions people must fulfil before their repentance is accepted, namely giving up the sin, regretting the sin, and determining never to commit it again.

However, in this article we will highlight some practical steps people should follow in order to help achieve sincere repentance.

1: Trying to count all the sins that you have committed since adulthood until the present time.

This is an introduction to repenting for all these sins, because when the soul considers all its sins, it will be humble and tend to repent as soon as possible. Here is a list of the categories of sins to help you remember your past sins:

11 SIGNS OF KIBR (PRIDE/ARROGANCE)

read time: 2 min

The Prophet ﷺ said,

“No one who has an atom’s-weight of Pride in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?” He ﷺ said, “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty, Pride means rejecting the truth and looking down on people”

[Sahih Muslim].

Commentary:

The word or the name for arrogance/pride in Arabic is ‘Kibr’. This is the inner quality of pride. The name of the outward quality is ‘Takabbur’ which means arrogance.

Arrogance is a blameworthy characteristic which is the feature of Iblees and his followers in this world, those on whose hearts Allah Ta’ala has placed a seal.

 11 Signs of a Person Having Pride/Arrogance:

▪ He doesn’t like others to have what he has

▪ He cannot avoid anger

PLEASE STOP COMMITTING THESE ‘ROBBERIES’!

read time: 5 min

Some very freakish ‘robberies’ are taking place nowadays and they are really becoming widespread like forest fires!

Outwardly these enticing robberies appear harmless but they have serious repercussions.

The weapons used to commit these robberies are the ‘Smartphones’!

A person usually commits a robbery for material gains but in these robberies there are no material gains at all. On the contrary, the culprits committing these robberies are themselves the main victims or losers!

Given below are only a few of the robberies that you are committing with your smartphones.

ROLE OF THE TELEVISION IN THE CORRUPTING OF SOCIETY PART 2

Creating Perception of Parents as “Criminals Under Assumption” and Parents as a Grave Danger to Their Children

This occurs through the television as well as other ways and means. Child abuse does take place, however, rare, isolated, extreme cases are used as part of perception change and management which leads to all parents being assumed to be criminals and a serious threat to their children. This is weaved into sitcoms and movies and through the coverage given it leads to a climate in which child abuse is assumed to be going on in every household, and through which children are nurtured to be suspicious of their parents. We see that what actually constitutes abuse is very broadly defined, and the television is used to alter and distort the true parent-child relationship (through cartoons, films and so on) from one of trust, confidence, love, care and so on (which is the case overwhelmingly in the majority of all households), to one of mistrust, abuse, hatred and so on (which is pushed as being the standard assumption).

THE ROLE OF TELEVISION IN THE DESTRUCTION OF CHILDREN AND SOCIETY PART 1

This is on the subject of “dajjaals” (great liars), and Satan and the Jinn, and what is connected to this of magic and the occult, and there are related issues that branch off from these subjects that are worthy of being covered. From them is the television, which is simply an effective brainwashing and social engineering tool. One of the clearest and most blatant aims of what is delivered through television is the “abolition of the family” (by tearing away and destroying all its bonds). You just need to go and read up on eugenecist, self-righteous elitist socialist, collectivist, bigots like Aldous Huxley, Julian Huxley, George Bernard Shaw, Bertrand Russell, Charles Darwin, H.G. Wells and others to understand the war on “the family unit”. Television is the most-effective means of delivery for that envisaged social engineering.

13 POINTS ON SHUKR (THANKFULNESS) TO ALLAH TA’ALA

1. We can never count Allaah’s Blessings: Be ever grateful to Allaah Ta’ala for everything that you possess including your wealth, health, status, intellectual abilities and life.

Allaah says: “Is, then, He Who creates comparable to any that cannot create? Will you not, then, take heed? For should you try to count Allaah’s blessings, you could never compute them…” (An-Nahl 16:17-19).

2. Shaytan’s primary mission is to make human beings ungrateful: From the very beginning of the human being’s creation, the issue of gratefulness and thankfulness to Allaah Ta’ala has been debated. After refusing to bow to Adam, Satan said:

“Then I will certainly come to them from before them and from behind them, and from the right-hand side and from the left-hand side, and You (Allaah) shall not find most of them thankful” (Al-Araf 7:17). 

REALITY OF “MUSLIM” WEDDINGS

read time: 3 min

Setting: Wedding Hall. Stage in the centre and draped with soft silks.

Music playing in the background. Six hundred eager people conversing and anticipating the arrival of the bride.

Enter the bride.

A dazzling young beauty, laden with only the finest and softest materials enters the hall. Glittery ornaments sparkling in her hair and diamond earrings hanging low, result in some favourable murmurs and nods of approval amongst the women and leaves others baffled at how she managed to grow double her hair length overnight. She smiles, walks down the aisle, and approaches her husband who carefully hands her an exquisite bouquet of the choicest flowers and takes her seat next to him on centre stage. She holds her head and shoulders as a proper bride should—high and elegant. Some start making their way to the front for family photos, handing over gifts, and congratulating the newlyweds. The slideshow on the wall project family photos over the years and the live DJs engage the audience with some heart-warming tunes to get the mood rolling.

HAVING A GOOD OPINION OF ALLAH TA’ALA

read time: 3 min

Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) related that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah Most High says, ‘I am as My servant thinks of Me, and I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me within himself I mention him within Myself, and if he mentions Me in a gathering I mention him in a gathering better than his. If he draws near to me by a hand span I draw near to him a cubit; if he draws near to Me a cubit I draw near to him a fathom; and if he comes to me walking I come to him running.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)

Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) also related that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah Most High says, ‘My servant is as he thinks of Me, and I am with him when he calls upon Me. If he mentions Me within himself I mention him within Myself, and if he mentions Me in a gathering I mention him in a gathering better and finer than his.’” (Narrated by Ibn Hibban.)

CO-WIVES SPEAK OUT

The following interview was taken with two co-wives living in Australia.

The first wife, Khadijah (not her real name), has three children and the second wife, Amina (not her real name), was single with six children when she married into this situation. Khadijah and Amina knew each other for a long time before the second marriage.

“I have always admired her,” said Khadijah.

Khadijah’s family roots are in South Africa, but she said, “Culturally speaking, I’m Australian.”

The husband is Algerian, and Amina is a revert to Islam and an Australian.

Khadijah and Amina agree that there are a number of polygynous marriages that are not successful. However, both wives believe that the fact that their husband has traveled a lot has taught him much wisdom and has enriched his thinking.

NEVER SAY NEVER

As an American woman embracing Islam, there are often hurdles and challenges to be met. One of the most difficult aspects of Islam for me to accept was the permissibility of polygyny. The very thought of it seemed so bizarre and I chose to ignore it rather than accept it or to ever take part in it.

I embraced Islam about seven years ago. This was also the beginning of a long struggle in search of the perfect husband and father-figure for my children and me. I was provided a guardian (Wali) by my community in order to handle this matter in the correct manner as to avoid mixing unnecessarily with other men, as well as to protect my best interests.

It was a difficult process as most of the brothers that showed interest in marrying me were looking for a second wife. It seemed that there were no single brothers looking for a wife who already had children.

WHAT ISLAAM SAYS ABOUT DATING

The most common questions I get from young people are, “Do Muslims date?” and, “If they don’t date, how do they decide whose the right person for them to marry?”

“Dating” as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims – where a young man and woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, “getting to know each other” in a very deep way before deciding whether that’s the person they want to marry. Rather, in Islaam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex are forbidden.

The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life – with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.

21 POINTS ON RAISING CHILDREN

1 – Raising children is complex, as they are in need of patience and management.

Some children are in need of gentleness, kindness, not raising your voice at them; such children should be dealt with without stubbornness. Other children are in need of sternness, but this sternness should not exceed the limit. If it is exceeded, then the child will become stubborn and non-compliant towards his parents’ guidance. We ask Allah to provide us with good protection and care since there is an immense responsibility around the necks of the parents.

Allah, the Exalted, said, “O you who possess Eemaan (faith), save yourselves and your families from the Fire.” [Surah Tahreem (66):6]

And in the Saheehayn (i.e. Bukhaaree and Muslim) from the Hadeeth of ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (radhiallahu `anhu) that he said: The Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Each one of you is a shepherd and each one of you is responsible (for his flock). So the ruler is a shepherd and he is responsible, the man is the shepherd of his family and he is responsible, the woman is the shepherd of her home and she is responsible, and the slave is the shepherd of his owner’s wealth and he is responsible. Each one of you is a shepherd, and each one of you is responsible (for his flock).”

8 WAYS TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON TO MARRY

Marriage is never an easy thing. We think of it as this amazing romantic bliss that we will somehow attain one day.

Sisters dream of marrying that amazing brother who has the character of the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him), the Eemaan of Aboo Bakr, the courage of Hamzah (may Allah be pleased with them), the wealth of ‘Abdur-Rahmaan bin ‘Awf not to mention the SWAG of 2PAC Shakur (OK maybe not the last one) but the fact still remains, everyone wants to marry that one truly amazing person and it is not much different for guys.

We wish to bump into a Hoor al-‘Een that has lost her way from Jannah (we aren’t too fussy about HOW she got lost…) I mean why wouldn’t that ever happen? It won’t happen, because you are daydreaming bro that’s why.

THE PHENOMENON OF SPINSTERHOOD

If we were to take a look at the various communities around the world, we would come to see that there has been a major change in the social circumstances of people which has affected the lives of individuals, aswell as families, and has had a very negative impact on them. Matters which used to be easy and facilitated have now became very difficult and complicated, and this in turn has brought about a new and dangerous phenomena, which one fears will in the long run cause a major commotion in the Muslim nation and adversely affect the stability of our lives individually and collectively. This is the phenomenon of life-long bachelorhood, as well as spinsterhood.

It is unfortunate that many young men and women are reaching the age of thirty without getting married, and some of them have perhaps never even entertained the thought of doing so. This corruption only started when obstacles were put in front of those who wanted to get married.

POLYGANY, A TEST AND BLESSING FROM ALLAH

With the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

“Who is he that will lend to Allah a goodly loan so that He may multiply it to him many times? And it is Allah that decreases or increases (your provisions), and unto Him you shall return”. (Al-Baqarah, 2:245)

Narrated Abu Musa (radhi-allaahu ‘anhu): The Prophet (sallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A faithful believer to a faithful believer is like the bricks of a wall, enforcing each other.” While saying that the Prophet (sallahu alayhi wa sallam) clasped his hands, by interlacing his fingers.  (Bukhaari vol. 1, hadith # 468)

The first advice that I was given thirteen years ago regarding polygyny was given to me by an elder sister who had been in polygyny with two co-wives. She only said to me,

“Polygyny is not easy, you are going to have to have patience.”

This I found to be true, I would like to share with you the blessing Allah bestowed upon me thirteen years ago.

WHAT’S BETTER: BEING A CO-WIFE OR A MISTRESS?

Islaam regulated matrimony in that men are permitted to marry up to four wives provided they treat them fairly and equally. The man must first be financially capable to take another wife, provide different residences and be able to divide his time equally amongst them.

In the western society many men who are married to only one wife usually have extramarital affairs. Thus a survey was published in the USA Today (April 4, 1988; Section D) which asked 4700 mistresses, what would they like their status to be (mistress or second wife). They said,

“I prefer being a second wife rather than the other woman”.

The reasons for this are that they didn’t have any legal rights, nor did they have the financial equality of the legally married wives and it appeared that these men were using them.

MY DAD WAS NOT THERE WHEN WE GREW UP SO I HATE HIM

APS – Absent Parent Syndrome

I hate my father, the man who worked 6 days a week for the past 25 years. Yet, somehow, I wish always he had time to spend with me, and never once let me down. Who in fact, worked 12 hours a day when my sister and I were toddlers so he could ensure that we would be provided for. Who with sadness, now looks back as he looks at his little granddaughter, because he doesn’t even remember what we looked like at that age, because he was rarely able to be home.

COUNSELLING ADVICE

As salamu `alaykum Dear brother,

Your anger at your father for not being there for you as a child is understandable. Your frustration is obvious, but it is unfortunate that you did not tell him more about your situation.

ENJOYING MOTHERHOOD WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG

I called a friend a few days ago to catch up on a few things and found her super busy with her three little ones, all under the age of five. It kind of stopped me in my tracks. I remember when I had three under five and it seems like such a long time ago. A few of my friends have small children and a few have two or three very small children. It can be hard work – long sleepless nights, endless nappies, dragging that big baby-bag everywhere, trying to navigate public transport and shops with a big buggy, having to plan ahead just to try and get a moment to go to the loo. But now that I look back, it seems it was over so quickly.

I reassured my friend. I remember when I had my youngest I had a good dose of the baby blues and did not want to get up or do anything, let alone be a mum. I remember yearning for a whole night of sleep and finding all of the things I was supposed to do – reading with the kids, playing with them, taking them to the park, so tedious. I would never have admitted it then for fear of being judged, but actually, looking after small kids can be tedious. The beautiful, unforgettable moments with your little ones – the first words, the funny little things they do, those moments when your heart brims over from love, these things make being a mum pleasurable and help temper the tedium, but the boring moments are still there.

TELEVISION HARMFUL TO TODDLERS

The more TV a toddler watches, the higher the likelihood they will do badly at school and have poor health at the age of 10, researchers warn.

The study of 1,300 children by Michigan and Montreal universities found negative effects on older children rose with every hour of toddler TV.

Performance at school was worse, while consumption of junk foods was higher.

The study, part of the Quebec Longitudinal Study of Child Development Main Exposure, asked parents how much TV their children watched at 29 months (two years and five months) and 53 months (four years and five months).

On average, the two-year-olds watched just under nine hours of TV per week, while for four-year-olds the average was just under 15 hours.

THE IMPORTANCE OF READING TO YOUR CHILD

By reading to our children we not only teach them that learning is fun, we also show them by our own example. Allaah, the All-Mighty says (what means), “…Allaah will raise those who have believed among you and those who were given knowledge, by degrees…” [Quran 58: 11]

While it is true that the knowledge that is referred to in the above verse is regarding Islamic knowledge, there is no doubt that throughout Islamic history from the time of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) until present day there has been a common understanding that striving to learn and educate ourselves is a vital part of being a Muslim.

We know from our rich history that Muslims held the highest ranks in scientific, medical, mathematical and astronomical discoveries, for which our scholars have been envied for many years.

NECESSARY TIPS FOR RAISING KIDS ISLAMICALLY

Indeed, Allah has created children with a pure innate nature, and whatever defects that sink in later on are due to a number of reasons. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is reported to have said, “Every child is born on Fitrah (man’s innate disposition to monotheism), his parents make him Jewish, Christian or a fire worshipper.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Islaam commands the parents to take care of their children and to bring them up according to Islamic manners. Allah, the Almighty, has entrusted parents with their children. Therefore, parents bear the responsibility to raise up their children in the Islamic way. If they do so, they will be, Allah Willing, blessed in this life and the Hereafter. If they don’t, they may see the bad results of it during their life, and Allah forbid, in the Hereafter.

11 TIPS FOR MUSLIM WOMEN FACING MARITAL DISPUTES

Marriages usually start off so nicely. Everyone cooperates – the couple, their parents, other relatives, friends. Things usually run smoothly.

But somewhere along the way, marital disputes pop up. This is of course natural, but these can escalate to dangerous levels if not dealt with correctly.

1. Money

Couples argue over many things but money is by far one of the most frequent and serious. The solution is to discuss issues openly and consult within the family.

For instance, the issue of a wife working outside the home can become a contentious one. This should preferably be discussed before marriage. Also, if she does decide to work and the husband agrees, does she want to contribute a certain portion to household expenses or will she keep all of the money for herself (which is her right)?

10 THINGS TO HAND DOWN TO YOUR DAUGHTER

1. Knowledge of and love for Allah and the Deen.

This is one of the most precious and enduring gifts you can pass down to your daughter, one that will benefit her in this life and the next.

2. Memorisation of the Qur’aan.

No matter how little you have memorised yourself, push your daughter to memorise as much she can. Encourage her and help her to revise. It will stand her in good stead in her life and will be a source of reward for you after your death as well.

3. A good example of Muslim womanhood.

Most girls look to their mothers for guidance. Embody the characteristics of a strong, faithful Muslimah and she will be inspired to follow your example.

DOUBLE DOSE OF …?

If a person has one apple and thereafter buys another apple, how many apples will he have? The answer is obvious – two apples. Similarly, if a person has one child and is then blessed with another child, he will now have two children. This elementary concept of one-plus-one-equals-two is so basic that even kindergartners (pre-school children) have ‘mastered’ it and understand that two sweets are better than one!

However, there is one occasion when even the most intelligent of people can forget this concept and thus lose out – the occasion of ill-treatment.

When someone shows us bad behaviour and ill treats us, there are a number of ways in which we can react. Some people break down into tears, some simply ignore the offender and walk away, and others retaliate. However, as Muslims, the question we need to ask is, “Which response will please Allah Ta‘ala?”

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SYRIAN WOMAN

read time: 4 min

I walked up the stairs along with my daughter Nour in the poorly lit corridor. I entered the room shyly and in broken Arabic greeted all the sisters in the room. A family in this Syrian village had invited me for dinner and I looked forward to such invites. Not only because I finally got to eat well-prepared food but also because I met new sisters in such gatherings. Some of these sisters and their stories in this war-ravaged country astonished me, and some ingrained themselves in me, forever changing me.

After we had eaten, a sister brought in a frail man and gently sat him against the cushions on the wall. I was struck by the noor emanating from the sister’s face. I stared at her in wonderment of why her face lit like a bright light. The brother had a white beard humbling resting on his face and the softness of his face resembled that of a child.

VICTIMS OF FREE-MIXING

Umm Muhammad, a woman over the age of 40, tells her story.

I lived a life of modest means with my husband. There was never any closeness and harmony, and my husband did not have the kind of strong personality that a woman would hope for, but his good nature made me overlook the fact that I was the one who was responsible for most of the decision making in the family.

My husband often used to mention the name of his friend and business partner, and he would talk about him in my presence, and I often used to meet with him in his office which was originally part of our apartment. This went on for many years, until circumstances led to us exchanging visits with this person and his family. These family visits were repeated and because of his close friendship with my husband, we did not notice how the number of visits increased and how many hours a single visit would last. He often used to come on his own to sit with us, me and my husband, for long visits. My husband’s trust in him knew no bounds, and as days passed I got to know this person very well, and saw how wonderful and decent he was. I began to feel a strong attraction towards this man, and at the same time I began to sense that the feeling was mutual.

THE TEENAGE PERIOD

Allāh Jalla Jalālahu says in Qur’ān Majeed:

Undoubtedly, We have created man in the best form. (Compared to other creatures, man’s physique is certainly more beautiful and he also has intelligence which the others do not possess also power of choice.) Surāh- Teen verses 4.

Like the unique way in which Allāh has created the human being, He has also established a phenomenal process of human growth from infancy to adulthood. However, the most amazing stage in that growth period is the stage of adolescence (12 to 18 years). When a child is about to bid farewell to his childhood, Allāh Subhāna wa Ta’ālā with His infinite Mercy gradually prepares him for the approaching adulthood.  That period is also called the Teenage period.  While fascinating it is, it can also be a very challenging time for some parents

UNDERSTANDING THE TEENAGE PERIOD

There isn’t a parent with a teenager who hasn’t been told ‘I hate you’, ‘You are ruining my life’ or ‘Leave me alone’ at some point. If that is not bad enough, their behaviour can get even worse if we fail to understand the brain changes triggering these outbursts. We can even end up losing our connection with our teens at the time when they need us most! So if we want to salvage our relationship with our teens, and make this period more acceptable then we must try to comprehend the teenage behaviour.

THE INTENSE LOVE OF RASULULLAH (SALLALLAHU ALAIHI WASALLAM) FOR HIS UMMAH

read time: 2 min

Anas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, “Every Nabi was blessed by Allah Ta’ala with a special duaa which was guaranteed to be accepted. Every Nabi had made his duaa in this world for his ummah, and I wish to reserve my special duaa for the day of Qiyaamah so that I may intercede to Allah Ta’ala on behalf of my entire ummah.” (muslim)

Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam)’s deep and intense love for his ummah can never ever be comprehended. It is a love that far surpasses the love of any mother for her infant child.The following incident presents a glimpse of his extreme love for his entire ummah.

Hazrat Aaisha (Radhiyallahu Anha) reports that once I had seen Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) in a happy state. I said to him, “O Rasul of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), make (a special) duaa for me.” Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) began making duaa in the following words: “O Allah, forgive Aaisha, forgive her for her past and future, open and secret sins.”

SEVEN BEAUTIFUL CHARACTERISTICS WHICH MAKE A WIFE EXCEPTIONAL

1) The Patient:

The woman who remains patient in all circumstances, and tries to never whine, moan, nag or complain. When some trouble or affliction hits her, she turns to Allah Almighty for help.

2) The Protector:

The woman who protects her husband’s wealth and her chastity when he is away from home. She doesn’t gossip or mingle with other men, nor does she allow anyone into their home without his approval. As a clever and wise wife, she knows, respects and stays within the boundaries of his gheerah (protective jealousy).

When he returns, she runs into his arms, as if she was anticipating for his return. She allows him time to relax before anything and does not burden him with the day’s problems, but listens attentively to his needs and does her best to take his tiredness away.

A MUSLIM WOMAN KEEPS HER HUSBANDS SECRETS

The chaste Muslim woman does not disclose her husband’s secrets, and does not talk to anyone about whatever secrets and other matters which may be between him and her. The serious Muslim woman is above that; she would never sink to the level of such cheap and shameless talk as goes on amongst the lowest type of people. Her time is too precious to be wasted in such vulgar behavior. She would never accept for herself to be counted as one of those people whom the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) described as one of the worst types,

“Among the worst type of people in the sight of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa) on the Day of Judgment is a man who enjoys his wife’s intimate company, and she enjoys his intimate company, then one of them goes and discloses the secret of the other.” (Saheeh Muslim, 10/8.)

Talking about that which is private between a husband and wife is one of the most abhorrent ways of disclosing secrets. No one does such a thing but the worst type of people. There are some secrets the disclosure of which is not as bad as disclosing this secret, but in any case, telling secrets at all is disliked and unacceptable. Keeping secrets in itself is a worthy and virtuous deed, whilst disclosing them is a serious error and shortcoming.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting.

• Meet him with a cheerful face.
• Beautify and perfume yourself.
• Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.
• Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.
• Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

*For your husband only, it shouldn’t be used in front of non-mahram men.

3- Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

• Taking good care of your body and fitness.
• Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.
• Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces, bad smells and especially hair.

UNDERSTANDING SECULAR EDUCATION

read time: 6 min

 www.ka.org.za

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

By Shaykh Moulana Abdul Hamid Is`haq  (Daamat Barakaatuhum)

When I was lecturing at the Rand Afrikaans University, a professor, who was head of the department, mentioned to me, during a conversation:

“The day the Primary Level Religious Institutions (Makaatib) do not exist, the Muslim community will exist as a professional community and as a business community – but they will not exist as a Muslim community anymore.”

It was at that point that I realized the agenda and planning of the enemies of Islam. They were systematically trying to break down the structure of Dien, which had been established in South Africa. Their foremost effort was and is drawing the Muslims to their secular institutions – primary, secondary and tertiary – where they would further break down the individual’s Dien – until the mind-set, the lifestyle and the beliefs become secular! Then we would be Muslim in name, but not in identity and not in our outlook – perhaps not even in belief. …May Allah Ta’ala protect us all.

HOW TO PERFORM ISTIKHARA

The essence of Istikhārah is to seek goodness in any task a person intends undertaking. It is Mustahab (commendable) to perform Salātul-Istikhārah when one intends to undertake an important matter in one’s life.

The method of Istikhārah is as follows:

Perform two Rakaats with the intention of Salaatul-Istikhārah. After Suratul-Fātihah, recite Suratul-Kāfirūn in the first Rakaat and Suratul-Ikhlās in the second Rakaat.

This is what should be read:

اَلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلاةُ وَالسَّلامُ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَّعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ.

اَللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ، وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ العَظِيْمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلاَ أَقْدِرُ، وَتَعْلَمُ وَلاَ أَعْلَمُ، وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الغُيُوبِ، اَللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِّيْ فِيْ دِيْنِيْ وَمَعَاشِيْ وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِيْ، فَاقْدُرْهُ لِيْ وَيَسِّرْهُ لِيْ ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِيْ فِيْهِ، وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِّيْ فِيْ دِيْنِيْ وَمَعَاشِيْ وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِيْ، فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّيْ وَاصْرِفْنِيْ عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِيَ الخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِيْ بِهِ.[5](mention your need)

(Note: Some narrations have the words: رَضِّنِيْ بِهِ in place of أَرْضِنِيْ بِهِ. Both forms are correct.)

“All praises are due to Allāh, the Rabb of the Worlds. Salutations and Greetings be on our leader, Muhammad, his family and all his Companions.

PORNIFIED

Pornography has become an epidemic. At least 66% of men aged eighteen to thirty-four indulge in porn; 41% of women have intentionally watched it online; 90% of teenagers who are regular internet users have viewed it; and prepubescents are being treated for pornography addiction. There are now over one-quarter of one billion pornographic websites in existence. We spend more on porn than on football, baseball, and basketball combined. $14 billion a year is spent in California alone. In 2005, $1.5 billion was spent on cell phone porn in western Europe. Two-thirds of human resources professionals have found porn on an employee’s computer. And the most searched for picture in human history is “Janet Jackson’s breast.”

We are now living in a pornified society, which is causing pornography addiction. A panel of academic experts appearing before the United States Senate Hearing on the Science of Pornography Addiction in 2004 testified that porn addiction uses the same neurological pathways as drug dependency. In the case of heroin addiction synthetic opiates are injected into the body; when viewing porn the body manufactures its own opioids, which are as addictive as heroin and cocaine.

KIBR (PRIDE/ARROGANCE)

read time: 2 min

The Prophet ﷺ said,

“No one who has an atom’s-weight of Pride in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?” He ﷺ said, “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty, Pride means rejecting the truth and looking down on people”

[Sahih Muslim].Commentary:

The word or the name for arrogance/pride in Arabic is ‘Kibr’. This is the inner quality of pride. The name of the outward quality is ‘Takabbur’ which means arrogance.

BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL SAYINGS OF BELOVED MASTER ﷺ

Those who don’t know him and haven’t studied his life, often think of Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ teachings to be full of negative or harsh messages. Many seem to be fixated on his sayings about the Day of Judgement and Hellfire, while conveniently ignoring his vocal messages of glad tidings and productive work.

After all, the mission of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was described by God as follows, “O Prophet, indeed We have sent you as a witness (Shahid) and a bringer of good tidings (Basheer) and a warner (Nazeer). And one who invites to Allah (Daee), by His permission, and an illuminating lamp (Sirajan Munira)” [Al-Ahzab 33:45-46].

NOT EVERYONE IS WHAT THEY POST TO BE

If you’re not careful, you’ll be fooled to think perfection exists.

From perfect flawless selfies to wow holiday destinations….social media has people selectively glorifying their lives.. Posting their best food, clothes and moments to create the perception of an ideal life…

Behind the scenes however, reality chronicles a very different picture.

From holiday destinations to food, fun and laughter, don’t be bamboozled to believe everything you see and read.

A depressed person will post the funniest jokes and quotes to block off their own woeful emotions.

THE UGLY SIDE OF ‘THE ‘BEAUTIFUL’ GAME’

read time: 6 min

With a fanbase of an estimated 3.5 billion compared to a world population of 7.5 billion,[1][2]football is the most popular sport in the world and its following is incredible.
The spring and summer months entice added attention with the seasons’ grand finales. Clubs compete for domestic and European honours in the spring whilst nations compete for international honours in the summer.

The ongoing transfer sagas, the managerial movements, the various rivalries – all amplified by billion-pound marketing campaigns – makes the game largely unaffected by seasonality. The lure throughout the year is simply irresistible.

The temptation is so great that a recent study by British snack food manufacturer, Walkers, concluded British men will watch a staggering 20,472 hours of sport in their lifetime, with football being the most popular.[3] This is an addiction.

SMILE

read time: 4 min

The Messenger of Allah Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “To smile in the company of your brother is charity. ” (Bukhari)
It seems that nothing has more power to elevate a mood than the impact of a genuine smile. The benefits of a smile extend not only to the recipient of the warm gesture but also to the smile’s originator. “A smile is a little curve that sets a lot of things straight.”
Here are some of the many …..

Benefits of Smiling!
1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive– People are spending millions on cosmetic products and procedures to make them look better.If you want to look better, try adding a genuine smile. Its cheaper and mush more attractive.The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don’t go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day — you’ll look younger and feel better.

HOCUS POCUS AND BOGUS!

http://uswatulmuslimah.co.za

I sat in the line of the waiting room, secretly examining those around me. To my left was a shabbily-dressed woman with bloodshot eyes who’d clearly spent the past few days crying. To the right I spotted a balding man who constantly fidgeted. He was trying to put on a calm demeanour and display a brave front, but the stains of sweat rapidly spreading on his shirt betrayed his nervousness. Everybody here, it seemed, had a problem “too huge to cope with” and had knocked on the door of renowned herbal doctor from Uganda, Prof. Ali Baba, for relief.

“Next!” We all jumped as he called for the next “patient” to come through. I suddenly realized that it was my turn and stood panicking, my heart thumping in my chest. I stood for a moment, breathing deeply, trying to soothe my nerves. I clenched and unclenched my fists, feeling my chewed nails dig into my sweaty palms. “It’s now or never.” I thought. I braced myself and pushed open his door entering the unknown…

11 MATTERS RELATING TO MONEY

(2min Read)

Inheritance and wills

Anas related that the Prophet (Salallaahu Alaihi Wasalam) said: If anyone deprives an heir of his inheritance, Allah will deprive him of his inheritance in Paradise on the Day of Resurrection. (Ibn Maja)

How do you earn your money?

Abu Said related that the Prophet (Salallaahu Alaihi Wasalam) said: The truthful and trustworthy businessman will be in the company of Prophets, saints and martyrs on the Day of Judgment. (Darimi, Tirmidhi)

Debts

It is narrated by Abu Musa Ashari that the Prophet (Salallaahu Alaihi Wasalam) said: After the major sins which must be avoided, the greatest sin is that someone dies in a state of debt and leaves behind no asset to pay it off. (Darimi)

MY ISLAMIC BUCKET LIST

A bucket list is a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime, or within a specified timeline.
The list below is in no particular order. You can create your own list with ideas from here

1) Read 10 000 times La-ilaaha illallAllah

2) Read 10 000 times Subhanallah.

3) Read 10 000 times Alhamdullilah

4) Read 10 000 times Allahu Akbar

5) Sponsor a borehole (waterwell) for a poor community (If you can’t afford it then get members of your family/community to assist in sponsorship).

GAME OVER

Playing is a natural activity for a child and is even important for the correct, healthy development of a child. For a child, playing is not merely a pastime. Rather, it is a developmental and educational process through which the child learns many basic principles such as cause and effect, effort and reward, etc. It is due to the process of playing being such an effective medium of education that teachers seek to capitalize on playing and use it to engage the students in games through which they will be educated in a subtle yet definite and enjoyable manner.

However, since the world has taken the route of technology, the nature of ‘the game’ has changed. Now, games are seldom played on fields and in backyards. Rather, the computer, tablet and phone screen has become the new field of play, and once the game begins, players become glued to the screen.

6 TYPES OF HAYAA (MODESTY) YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

Abu Hurairah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said, “Faith or belief consists of more than sixty branches or parts, and Hayaa is a (big) part of faith”.

There is no true English definition of the word ‘Hayaa’ but the closest one can get to it is shame, modesty, and bashfulness. Hayaa is an essential characteristic of a Muslim; it must be obtained in order to attain faith as they come together as a pair:

Abdullah ibn Umar (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said, “Indeed Hayaa and Iman are companions. When one of them is lifted, the other leaves as well.”

Ibn Al-Qayyim is reported to have said that the moral character of a person is determined by how much Hayaa his heart possesses. Clearly, we find that the greater the humility and modesty is of a person, the further they will stay away from sins and the better-mannered the individual will be.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A PERSON DIES

It is mentioned in the Quran –‘When death comes to one of you, our messengers (angels of death) take him (his soul) into their custody and they do not neglect is doing so (they perform their job promptly)’.  (Al-An-Aam – 61)

It is mentioned in the Hadith – Upon the authority of al-Bara’ ibn `Aazib who said: We went out with the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم) to a burial of a man from the Ansaar (original inhabitants of Madina) until we arrived at the grave and he still had not been placed in the slot of the grave.

Then the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم) sat down and we sat around him. You would have thought that birds were upon our heads from our silence and in the hand of the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم) was a stick which he was poking the ground with. Then he started looking at the sky and looking at the earth and looking up down three times. Then he said to us: “Ask Allah (سبحانہ و تعا لی) for refuge from the torment of the grave”, he repeated this command two or three times. Then he said O Allah (سبحانہ و تعا لی) I seek refuge in you from the torment of the grave (three times).  Then he said: “Verily, the believing servant, when leaving this life and journeying to the hereafter, angels will descend upon him, their faces will be white as if they were suns, they will have with them a shroud (kafan) from the shroud of Paradise), and an embalmment (Hanout) from the embalmment of heaven. Then, they will sit for as far as his eye can see.

THE VIRTUES OF JUMU’AH

(3min read)

Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said, “Friday is the best of days. It was on this day that Hadrat Aadam alayhis salaam was created, it was on this day that he was granted entry into jannah, it was on this day that he was removed from jannah (which became the cause for man’s existence in this universe, and which is a great blessing), and the day of resurrection will also take place on this day. ” (Sahih Muslim)

Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said, “There is such an hour on Friday that if any Muslim makes Dua in it, his Dua will definitely be accepted. ” (Bukhari, Muslim)

Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said, “Of all the days, Friday is the most virtuous. It is on this day that the trumpet will be blown. Send abundant Durood upon me on Fridays because they are presented to me on that day. ” The Sahabah Radhiyallahu anhum asked: “O Rasulullah! How will they be presented to you when even your bones will not be present after your death?” Rasulullah (Allah bless him & give him peace) replied: “Allah Ta’ala has made the earth haraam upon the prophets forever . ” (Abu Dawood)

10 HABITS OF HAPPY MUSLIM COUPLES

What does it take to stay Muslim, married and extremely happy today? As oxymoronic as that just sounded, believe it or not, it’s absolutely possible!

Marriage, especially for Muslims, is a lot more than having someone to call a husband or wife. The marital relationship is an incredible blessing and divine sign, as Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an:

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [Qur’an: Chapter 30, Verse 21]

The whole purpose of having a spouse is to find tranquility in and with them; and our relationships with our spouses have signs that Allah Ta’ala is asking us to give thought to.

How are some Muslim couples finding this tranquility in their marriage while many others seem to be having a miserable time?

JIHAD IN THE QUR’AAN AND HADITH

Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem

As Salaamu Alaikum Warahmatullaahi Wabarakhaatuhu

This article is for informational purposes.

Was Salaamu Alaikum Warahmatullaahi Wabarakhaatuhu

The Command To Fight:

“Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not” (al Baqara 216)

“And fight in the cause of Allah and know that Allah is Hearing and Knowing” (al Baqara 244)

“And if it were not for Allah checking [some] people by means of others, the earth would have been corrupted, but Allah is full of bounty to the worlds” (al Baqara 251)

“Fight those who do not believe in Allah or in the Last Day and who do not consider unlawful what Allah and His Messenger have made unlawful and who do not adopt the religion of truth [i.e., Islam] from those who were given the Scripture – [fight] until they give the jizyah willingly while they are humbled

(al Tawba 29)

HEALTH GUIDELINES FROM QURAN AND SUNNAH

This article is not about the glory of Islamic Medicine of past 1000 years which produced great physicians.

This article is also not about virtues of honey, the center point of discussion in most of the articles written these days on Islamic Medicine.

This also is not an article saying that since science has now confirmed certain Quranic statements, therefore Quran must be a divine book. To the contrary, we begin with the belief that all Quranic statements are true, science has confirmed some of them in the past, and will confirm more in the future. If science has not confirmed it yet, it needs to examine its data more deeply, or maybe repeat the experiment, rather than question the authenticity of Quran.

The Quran is not a book of medicine or of health sciences,but in it there are hints which lead to guidelines in health and diseases. Prophet Mohammed (peace and blessings be upon him) has been sent as an example to mankind so his traditions in matters of health and personal hygiene are also a guide for his followers.